(calls police) hello, some bitch is still trying to talk to me about frozen
Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer
I seem to keep ending up with these bad boy characters. I don’t understand what’s going on. I walk the street in New York feeling like I’m Paul Rudd or something, but apparently no one sees else it that way.
cosmo sex tip #616: just as you’re about to orgasm, lean down and whisper “hail hydra” into your partner’s ear